Compassionately Inquiring
As many of you know, I completed the year-long Compassionate Inquiry Program for Professionals at the start of this year. I am deeply passionate about this body of work and would like to discuss it with you today.
TRIGGER WARNING: Since being exposed to Gabor's work, I like to think of Landmines instead of Triggers - 'Landmines being explosive material that lives inside each of us and has all our lives'. This simple twist of perception helps us to take responsibility for our reactions to people or information without pointing the finger of blame or locking ourselves in victimhood. Compassionate Inquiry invites us to become curious about our landmines and learn from them. Needless to say, I am writing about trauma, which up until recently has been something that is mostly swept under the rug, unspoken about and painful to many. Reading on is up to you.
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I was in my last year of Acupuncture studies when I came across the work of Dr Gabor Mate (thank you algorithm/social media - not something I say often). The film The Wisdom of Trauma was being released which takes a close look at his life's journey, many decades as a doctor in Canada and more recent work in the field of trauma and addiction. To celebrate the release, the filmmakers held a week-long conference offering 3-5 hours a day of content and interviews with the leading specialists in this field. It was all free if you watched the content within 48 hours of release, so you can imagine I spent the majority of that week in my yurt in front of the computer taking notes and watching as much as I could stay awake for. And that is what all of this did, awakened something in me, a deep passion and longing to learn more and follow this thread the universe had planted on my path. Suddenly, I felt seen, heard and validated for the immense impact childhood trauma had on me - from the lens of experts in the field, including doctors, professionals and scientists. This was real, it was BIG and impacted all of us.
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I highly recommend checking out the movie if you haven't already
Naturally after this week-long immersion, I bought a few of Gabor's books, thoroughly enjoying In the Realms of Hungry Ghosts about addiction (his own and many of his patients) and its inherent link to childhood trauma and pain. I love the invitation from Gabor, "Ask not why the addiction, but why the pain?"
I've also read (and loved) The Myth of Normal, a zoomed-out perspective about the toxic culture we live in and how it has a traumatising effect on all of us. When the Body Says No, a look into autoimmune conditions and their connection to mental health/old pain/boundary issues, and Scattered Minds, discussing adult ADHD and its link to early childhood stress are both sitting on my bookshelf waiting for the right space in time for me to pick them up.
So, what is trauma?
As Gabor defines 'trauma is not something that has happened to you, it is what happens inside of you as a result of the external event... trauma may not be what happened, but what didn't happen... ultimately it is a disconnection from the Self'.
Many people talk of small t-trauma and big T-trauma, both on a continuum of the same scale that all of us experience to some level. trauma could look like bullying in school, not having parents who are present to your emotions as a child or witnessing them navigating a separation/divorce, Trauma could look like emotional, physical or sexual abuse or war PTSD experienced by veterans, to name a few examples. And because it is not about the external event but your reaction to it, different experiences will impact people differently. Everyone has a story.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) affects the physical body impacting the health of the cardio-respiratory system, gastrointestinal function and pain conditions. It is also often linked with anxiety, depression, dissociation, self-harm, suicidal ideation/risk, flashbacks, nightmares and insomnia. The sympathetic nervous system is in over-drive causing long-term activation of stress pathways (Pacella, Hruska & Delahanty, 2013). Complex trauma or CPTSD is described as the 'chronic traumatisation in early years of life' meaning the traumatic experience was ongoing and impactful for the development of the child. CPTSD can result in borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorders and substance dependence as well as (above mentioned) impacts of PTSD (Sar, 2011).
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) studies have been around since 1998 and have led to a huge amount of interest in the impact of ACE on mental and physical health outcomes, economic stability and life opportunities. Evidence explains that repeated exposure to toxic stress and adverse experiences as a child can damage the immune, endocrine and neurological symptoms, with long-term impact on the developing brain (Boullier & Blair, 2018).
There are ACEs-10 questionnaires out there that are used to better understand childhood experience, yet also come with complaints of oversimplification of an inherently complex issue (McLennan, MacMillan & Afifi, 2020).
Below is the questionnaire link if you are curious.
Personal becomes professional
The more time I spent with patients in clinical practice the more trauma I heard about. In complementary health practices, we have the luxury of time that many GPs do not. Time to meet for the initial consultation and discuss all the ins and outs of each health system which sometimes takes up to 40 minutes. This includes mental and emotional health - each piece creates a greater picture of the puzzle and leads to the best possible treatment. I've found myself leaning on the counselling skills we learnt at uni more than I first expected (whilst staying within my scope and referring when needed). Safety and rapport are built and the regularity of treatment allows clients to share and express emotion if and when they need to. And then there is the notion that The Body Keeps the Score, a brilliant book written by Bassel Van Der Kolk who has worked closely with trauma for decades. He discusses neurobiology, the impact of trauma on the nervous system and body and how they have supported patients since 1984 in a clinical trauma treatment and research centre (Trauma Research Foundation, 2021). So naturally, as a bodyworker, we move Qi and emotions arise. I have people on the table saying things like 'I am overcome with sadness all of a sudden and I don't know why' before they carry on to tell me a memory that has arisen seemingly out of the blue. These clinical observations plus the insatiable appetite for Gabor's work led me to invest in the Compassionate Inquiry program.
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What is Compassionate Inquiry?
Well, that is what I have sat down this morning to tell you about and I am only just getting to it. This method of inquiry was created by Sat Dharam, a Naturopathic doctor, Kundalini Yoga Teacher and friend of Gabor's who saw his work and knew there was a modality within it. Dr Mate described this discovery as somewhat spontaneous, after decades of clinical observation as a family physician, he realised that there is always an unconscious psychological dynamic at play no matter what he was treating. He has read many books on therapy and the psyche, although he has never studied psychology. His combination of working with patients with physical and mental ailments and addictions, whilst simultaneously addressing his own trauma and addictions, led Gabor to discover this method of inquiry and witness the therapeutic benefit it has.
The insight into this inextricable link between body and mind, subconscious and conscious led to a modality that is somatically based (soma=body). This is a patient-led approach, whereby the therapist inquires and attunes to their process and nervous system to create safety where they can explore old memories and beliefs and gain insight into how these are still affecting them in the present.
During our year-long training, we were required to log a therapy session each month where I discovered the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) which I found very insightful and helpful (there is so much out there and I could keep writing for ages but google it if you are interested). We also logged a weekly practice session with our peers and completed 25 case studies using Compassionate Inquiry. It was a massive year for me, diving deep into my own landmines and past, whilst being present with and for people as they did the same. I plan to complete the 6-month Mentorship program next year and become certified so I can add this to my offerings, both online and in person. If you have any questions please know that I am here. I will also leave you with a list of modalities that I have found helpful in my journey back to Self and wholeness, which inevitably continues.
Coming home through the help of:
Yoga - especially Yin, Child's pose has become a safe space
Acupuncture & massage - modalities that have helped me be present with my body, learning to become witness to her voice
Psychology, counselling, IFS & Compassionate Inquiry - it took me a few go's to find the right people but when I did they helped me process and move through mountains of pain and dysregulation
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) - an interesting therapeutic method that helped me reorganise memories, associated beliefs and rewrite different situations
Energy workers & spiritual healers - my first point of call when I began to seek help at 21y/o, still helping me today
Plant medicines - in particular, the use of Eboka/Iboga from Africa who has brought enormous healing and insight
Supportive friends & family - being seen and heard in all of my shadows by people who will love me through it all has been imperative
Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) & shaking - though I have only done this with guidance twice my body now often discharges through tremors and I welcome it, knowing my nervous system is wise
Chanting & Singing - Kirtan has been healing for me and I love to sing loudly when I need to move energy, dancing too!
Breathwork - I've experienced some big somatic releases through the use of breath under guidance
Books & teachers - I have found it very empowering to wrap my mind around the subject, even though it is only part of the picture
Go gently friends, thank you for reading and reach out if you need support. There are many people and modalities trained and ready to help. Help-seeking is courageous.
REFERENCE LIST
Boullier, M., & Blair, M. (2018). Adverse childhood experiences. Paediatrics and Child Health, 28(3), 132-137.
McLennan, J. D., MacMillan, H. L., & Afifi, T. O. (2020). Questioning the use of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) questionnaires. Child Abuse & Neglect, 101, 104331.
Sar, V. (2011). Developmental trauma, complex PTSD, and the current proposal of DSM-5. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 2(1), 5622.
Trauma Research Foundation (2021) https://traumaresearchfoundation.org/programs/faculty/bessel-van-der-kolk/
Pacella, M. L., Hruska, B., & Delahanty, D. L. (2013). The physical health consequences of PTSD and PTSD symptoms: a meta-analytic review. Journal of anxiety disorders, 27(1), 33-46.
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